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and when i thought the crush that i have for you is momentary
and i will forget all about you during the semester break
apparently it is not

bila saya nampak awak duduk kat bench depan dewan kuliah, saya rasa happy, sampai saya rasa nak melompat, saya curi-curi pandang awak, nak je toleh ke arah awak tapi saya gagahkan juga untuk pandang ke depan


awak masih kekal dalam doa saya
dan may Allah bless you always

Tolak

People respond passively and aggressively because they have irrational beliefs that interfere with the assertiveness

-Fear of rejection

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From the lecture of subject of communication and psychology. 

Fear of rejection.

This thing is so true that it just goes straight to my heart. Maybe, I am so passive that i am afraid of rejection. Fear of rejection. That is why i do not have the courage to love anyone as i am so afraid of rejection. That is why it is so hard for me to approach someone, afraid that they would being judgmental and harsh to me. And somehow this affects my confidence level and it consumes you from the inside. I never invest so much, afraid that everything would break me in the end. Be it in a friendship or relationship. It is in the human nature kan to break others. 

Dan bila kau tahu the cause but you do not know how to overcome this problem. I would say this is my biggest monster in me. Everyone ada monster masing-masing kan. Dan aku berharap mungkin pada suatu hari nanti aku akan ada keberanian to unleash this monster out of myself.

Harapan takkan mati.

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Aliya